Within the past 20 years or so cloth diapers have become more popular with parents. One of the reasons for this is the perceived environmental impact of using cloth. Another reason that cloth is popular is that many people feel that cloth is better for a baby's skin. There are many online companies that sell cloth diapers for babies, but what many parents might not realize is that they also make cloth diapers to fit older children, teenagers, and adults with bedwetting problems. This article talks about my favorite cloth diapering method for bedwetting – pin-on style cloth diapers covered with a pair of plastic pants(what the old timers call “rubber pants”). While many people consider this style old fashioned and many parents might recoil at the thought of using safety pins, pin-on diapers are very good for managing bedwetting. This article talks about the use of pin-on style diapers to handle an older child or teenager's bedwetting, including the different brands of pin-on diapers as well as online stores that sell these diapers. The information in this article is also appropriate for adults that wet the bed.
To start with – most parents are probably asking the following question: why in the world would I ever want to use safety pins when there are diapers with other types of fasteners such as Velcro and snaps? That is a valid question and this article talks about some of the advantages of pin-on style diapers. First off, even though there are a lot of older children, teenagers, and adults that wet the bed, the cloth diaper market for this segment is somewhat limited – there are a few companies that make cloth diapers that fit older children, teens, and adults but not nearly as many as those that sell cloth diapers for babies. Consequently, the styles available are somewhat limited. As far as diapers with Velcro fasteners, diapers with Velcro can wear out after a while – the Velcro tends to lose its ability to stick after a number of washings. As far as snap on diapers are concerned, the snaps on snap on diapers can break. Before the advent of these styles of diapers, pin-on diapers were the only game in town. They are considered the workhorse of the cloth diaper world, and even though they are not as popular as they once were, many parents still use them for their babies and there are also incontinent adults who wear them.
One of the advantages of using pin-on diapers is that there is a large degree of flexibility in terms of getting an appropriate fit as well as layering the diapers in order to get the best protection. For instance, with pin-on diapers you can add more layers in the diaper to increase the level of absorbency. Another advantage of pin-on diapers is that they have very good wicking ability. Wicking refers to how well liquid is dispersed throughout the diaper. A diaper with good wicking ability offers better protection and makes the person wearing the diaper feel dry and comfortable. Third, pin-on diapers tend to be very durable and last for years. The reason some parents are reluctant to safety pins as a diaper fastener, is due to the fact that babies frequently squirm around when being diapered, thus making it difficult to use pins – in situations such as that, parents have sometimes stuck themselves, the baby, or both with the safety pin. My recommendation of the use of safety pin style diapers is strictly for older children and teenagers so this is not an issue.
As mentioned, with pin-on diapers you can add layers to the diapers to make them more absorbent. Many companies that sell pin-on diapers have inserts you can place in the diaper to increase its absorbency. You can also buy infant size cloth diapers from places such as Walmart. Walmart sells Gerber brand flat style and prefold diapers which you can use to layer the diapers. There's a certain amount of trial and error associated with this. The older child or teenager will have to determine the appropriate amount of liners to place in the diaper – although thick diapers are good for heavy wetters, if the diapers are too thick they can be uncomfortable to wear because the diapers will bunch up between the legs. This in turn can cause chafing.
As far as diapering is concerned there are two folds which are easy to do. The “angel wing” fold and the “newspaper fold”. Kelly's Closet has an illustrated tutorial on how to do both of those folds. The link for this tutorial is http://www.kellyscloset.com/Prefold-and-Flat-Diapers_c_601.html. An older child or teenager should be able to handle these folds by themselves. It's very important that an older youngster be responsible for diapering themselves, unless they have some physical and/or cognitive disability that prevents him or her from putting on and changing their diapers. I would copy the folding instructions from the website for the child or teenager and have them look at it so they can familiarize themselves with how to fold and fasten the diapers.
Cloth diapers, unlike disposable diapers, do not have a waterproof outer layer, therefore the diaper must be covered with a pair of waterproof pants. Plastic pants(also known as “rubber pants” even though this is a misnomer – generally this is a term used by the old timers) are the most popular type of waterproof pants. Plastic pants are also known as “vinyl pants”, vinyl being a type of plastic. Plastic pants come in two styles – snap-on which are generally used by people who are non-ambulatory, i.e. people who can't walk, and pull-on styles. The pull-on styles are usually cheaper, and are the most commonly used form of waterproof pants. For more information about plastic pants for older children and teenagers please see my post from April 25, 2009 entitled "Brands of Plastic Pants for Older Children and Teenagers With Bedwetting Problems."
Adultclothdiaper.com(also known as All Together Enterprises), Angel Fluff Diaper Company, and Changing Times Diaper Company, all sell pin-on style cloth diapers for older children, teenagers, and adults with bedwetting problems. Angel Fluff and Adultclothdiaper.com have both gauze and birdseye diapers. The gauze diapers have a loser weave which is supposed to be more comfortable to wear during the warmer times of the year such as spring and summer. If expenses permit, you might want to consider purchasing a few of each to see which style works best for you. Here are the links to each of the companies mentioned in this paragraph as well as the various sections of the websites that are relevant to pin-on diapers:
Adultclothdiaper.com:
http://www.adultclothdiaper.com/PRODUCTS_2/Youth-Prefold-diapers/Youth-Prefold-Birdseye-Small_2.html
http://www.adultclothdiaper.com/PRODUCTS_2/Youth-Prefold-diapers/Youth-Prefold-Birdseye-Small_4.html
http://www.adultclothdiaper.com/PRODUCTS_2/CLOTH-DIAPERS_2/Nighttime-Adult-Prefold-Diapers.html
http://www.adultclothdiaper.com/PRODUCTS_2/CLOTH-DIAPERS_2/Adult-Flat-Diapers-Gauze-Purity.html
Angel Fluff Diaper Company:
http://www.angelfluff.com/nfGAUZEprefolded.htm
http://www.angelfluff.com/adultclothdiapers.htm
http://www.angelfluff.com/nfGauzeFlat.htm
http://www.angelfluff.com/nfBirdseyeFlat.htm
Changing Times Diaper Company:
https://www.changingtimesdiaperco.com/PFD-WT.html
https://www.changingtimesdiaperco.com/PFD-ADULT.html
Saturday, April 25, 2009
Brands of Plastic Pants for Older Children and Teenagers With Bedwetting Problems
As mentioned in my post “Information Regarding Pin-On Diapers for Older Children and Teenagers With Bedwetting Problems”, cloth diapers, unlike disposable diapers, do not have a waterproof outer layer. As a result, you need to cover the diapers with a pair of waterproof pants. The most popular form of waterproof pants are plastic pants. Plastic pants are made out of vinyl but are generally called plastic pants because vinyl is a type of plastic. Plastic pants are also called “rubber pants” by many people, particularly by old timers. Before the advent of plastic pants in the fifties, rubber pants were the most widely used form of waterproof pants to put over babies diapers. After a while, rubber pants were no longer used for baby pants and over time “rubber pants” became a generic term for waterproof pants. Nowadays when people use the term “rubber pants” they mean plastic pants. I'd like to talk about a couple of brands of plastic pants to use for cloth diapers.
One of the most popular brands of plastic pants are the Gary brand. The Gary company makes a very good plastic pant which is sold by several companies under different names. The pant is made of 7 gauge vinyl (gauge being the thickness of the vinyl)It is a very thick plastic pant, which is good because thicker pants are durable and will last longer, and it has vinyl covered elastic which is very effective for preventing leaks. The places that sell this pant are Adultclothdiaper company(also known as All Togther Enterprises) under the name “Leakmaster Deluxe”(http://www.adultclothdiaper.com/PRODUCTS_2/Heavy-Weight/Leakmaster-Deluxe-Vinyl-Pants.html), Angel Fluff Diaper Company under the name “Ultimate Whisper”(http://www.angelfluff.com/Ultimate-Whisper-Plastic-Pant.htm), and Changing Times Diaper Company under the name InControl Comfort(https://www.changingtimesdiaperco.com/GVP-7COMHW.html).
Another plastic pant made by Gary is the Euroflex pant. This pant is made from Urethane which is a plastic type material. This pant is a made from a clear plastic which is very durable. This pant is sold by L.L. Medico. You can also order this pant with covered elastic waist and leg bands and a high back for more secure protection against leaks. The link for this pant is http://www.llmedico.com/product/12/gary-pull-on-euroflex-urethane-pants/. Finally, L.L. Medico sell an 8 gauge frosted clear vinyl pant with vinyl covered elastic in the waist and legs. You can order this pant with a high back which is best for preventing leaks. This pant is not one they have in stock - you have to custom order it which takes an extra three weeks but it's well worth the wait in my opinion. The smallest size they have is a 3xs which may fit a larger size teenager. L.L. Medico has other plastic pants that will fit older children and teenagers as well.
I hope this list helps those parents who may be having a difficult time finding plastic pants to fit their older child or teenager with bedwetting problems.
One of the most popular brands of plastic pants are the Gary brand. The Gary company makes a very good plastic pant which is sold by several companies under different names. The pant is made of 7 gauge vinyl (gauge being the thickness of the vinyl)It is a very thick plastic pant, which is good because thicker pants are durable and will last longer, and it has vinyl covered elastic which is very effective for preventing leaks. The places that sell this pant are Adultclothdiaper company(also known as All Togther Enterprises) under the name “Leakmaster Deluxe”(http://www.adultclothdiaper.com/PRODUCTS_2/Heavy-Weight/Leakmaster-Deluxe-Vinyl-Pants.html), Angel Fluff Diaper Company under the name “Ultimate Whisper”(http://www.angelfluff.com/Ultimate-Whisper-Plastic-Pant.htm), and Changing Times Diaper Company under the name InControl Comfort(https://www.changingtimesdiaperco.com/GVP-7COMHW.html).
Another plastic pant made by Gary is the Euroflex pant. This pant is made from Urethane which is a plastic type material. This pant is a made from a clear plastic which is very durable. This pant is sold by L.L. Medico. You can also order this pant with covered elastic waist and leg bands and a high back for more secure protection against leaks. The link for this pant is http://www.llmedico.com/product/12/gary-pull-on-euroflex-urethane-pants/. Finally, L.L. Medico sell an 8 gauge frosted clear vinyl pant with vinyl covered elastic in the waist and legs. You can order this pant with a high back which is best for preventing leaks. This pant is not one they have in stock - you have to custom order it which takes an extra three weeks but it's well worth the wait in my opinion. The smallest size they have is a 3xs which may fit a larger size teenager. L.L. Medico has other plastic pants that will fit older children and teenagers as well.
I hope this list helps those parents who may be having a difficult time finding plastic pants to fit their older child or teenager with bedwetting problems.
Thursday, January 29, 2009
How to Manage Bed-Wetting in College
Starting college is a very exciting time for many people-meeting new friends and taking interesting courses are just some of the things that make this time special for many people. However for those individuals with a bed-wetting problem this time can be anxiety provoking,although with the right amount of preparation it doesn't have to be.
There are plenty of cases of college students with bed-wetting problems and like any other problem in life it can be managed. Before attending college the student should ask to speak with the department that handles accommodations for students with medical conditions. If you don't feel comfortable divulging to them that you wet the bed you can ask to speak to the school nurse and he or she might be able to give you advice about how to approach the school about the bed-wetting. Nurses are used to dealing with all sorts of medical conditions,particularly incontinence so you shouldn't feel embarrassed about discussing this problem with her. From what I understand it's possible to share a dorm with individuals suffering from the same medical problem. If this isn't an option you might consider getting a private dorm or if financially feasible you could rent a one bedroom apartment.
As far as discretion is concerned this can be somewhat tricky but there are ways to work around this issue.. In a situation such as college the ease with which one can exercise discretion with a problem such as bed-wetting depends to a large extent on what type of protection a person uses. If a person uses cloth diapers and plastic pants and if the person uses public laundry facilities it can be very difficult being discreet. If however,the person goes to school in the same state and goes home every weekend the individual can bring a diaper pail to school and just bring home the wet diapers and plastic pants home and wash them there. If it's not feasible to use cloth diapers and plastic pants the student will have to use disposables. Again I would talk to the nurse about this and ask her if she has any suggestions about how to manage this problem.
If this isn't an option and the person has to use public laundry facilities he or she can schedule to wash them when the laundry room is less crowded. You might be able to bring a basin to school and wash the plastic pants in the dorm. You can also post questions on various incontinence forums and ask people what they've done in a similar situation. As mentioned there are plenty of cases of people wetting the bed in college and they might have some useful tips on how to be discreet about this problem.
I hope this article helps those bed-wetters anxious about attending college. Just remember that this is a common problem among college students and many adults too. Just because you wet the bed doesn't mean that college can't be a wonderful time. With the right preparation you can have peace of mind and get through college with flying colors.
There are plenty of cases of college students with bed-wetting problems and like any other problem in life it can be managed. Before attending college the student should ask to speak with the department that handles accommodations for students with medical conditions. If you don't feel comfortable divulging to them that you wet the bed you can ask to speak to the school nurse and he or she might be able to give you advice about how to approach the school about the bed-wetting. Nurses are used to dealing with all sorts of medical conditions,particularly incontinence so you shouldn't feel embarrassed about discussing this problem with her. From what I understand it's possible to share a dorm with individuals suffering from the same medical problem. If this isn't an option you might consider getting a private dorm or if financially feasible you could rent a one bedroom apartment.
As far as discretion is concerned this can be somewhat tricky but there are ways to work around this issue.. In a situation such as college the ease with which one can exercise discretion with a problem such as bed-wetting depends to a large extent on what type of protection a person uses. If a person uses cloth diapers and plastic pants and if the person uses public laundry facilities it can be very difficult being discreet. If however,the person goes to school in the same state and goes home every weekend the individual can bring a diaper pail to school and just bring home the wet diapers and plastic pants home and wash them there. If it's not feasible to use cloth diapers and plastic pants the student will have to use disposables. Again I would talk to the nurse about this and ask her if she has any suggestions about how to manage this problem.
If this isn't an option and the person has to use public laundry facilities he or she can schedule to wash them when the laundry room is less crowded. You might be able to bring a basin to school and wash the plastic pants in the dorm. You can also post questions on various incontinence forums and ask people what they've done in a similar situation. As mentioned there are plenty of cases of people wetting the bed in college and they might have some useful tips on how to be discreet about this problem.
I hope this article helps those bed-wetters anxious about attending college. Just remember that this is a common problem among college students and many adults too. Just because you wet the bed doesn't mean that college can't be a wonderful time. With the right preparation you can have peace of mind and get through college with flying colors.
Older Children,Bed-Wetting,and Self Diapering
In my readings on nocturnal enuresis I have come across the following situation and I decided to devote a whole article to this topic. I don't know how prevalent it is but I felt it needed to be addressed. This issue concerns me and that is why I felt it needed to be covered in more depth. On some incontinence forums I have read about some parents and babysitters diapering older children with bed-wetting problems. Some of these children are 9 or older. As we all know bed-wetting can be very stressful and in my opinion this stress can be exacerbated by parents not letting their child put on their own protection. By no means am I a childcare expert but my intuition tells me that above the age of 3 or 4 a child should be taught how to put on their own diapers.
Years ago I had a friend who had to babysit a 6 year old. She was telling me that she had to diaper the child before he went to bed. Due to his age I assumed he was potty trained and that the reason he wore diapers was because of a bed-wetting problem. She told me that he went running through the house naked and screaming and refused to let her put the diapers on him,which I can't say as I blame him.
I do believe that an older child,adolescent,or teenager should wear diapers to bed if all attempts to cure it have failed and if other garments such as pull-ups and "Goodnites" don't offer adequate protection but I also feel that the youngster should be responsible for putting on their own protection unless they have some cognitive and/or physical disability that makes it either difficult for them to do so or prevents them from doing so. Diapering an older child has the potential to drastically effect a child's psychological health for years to come.
There are certain tasks that can be accomplished by youngsters who aren't cognitively or physically impaired including tying one's shoes,putting on one's clothes,etc. Diapering one's self in my opinion would fit into this category also.
At this point I'd like to talk about disposable diapers. If the parents are concerned that the child might not fasten the diapers correctly thereby causing the diapers to leak the parents can show the child how to fasten the diapers correctly. One way of doing this is to lay the diaper on the bed,have the child sit in the diaper,and tell them how to fold and fasten the diapers properly. I wouldn't think the child would have much difficulty doing this. However,if the child is having any problems with fastening the diaper,the parents can talk them through this. After the child is done putting the diapers on, the parent can have him or her stand up to see if the diaper is put on correctly and if not they can have the child make any adjustments that are necessary,such as refastening the tapes,putting on the diapers again if it looks like they don't fit correctly(which could cause leaks),etc. I would do this when the child is young because the older the child gets the more embarrassed the child will feel. This is a very sensitive area for children. Many bed-wetting children feel self-conscious and embarrassed about wearing diapers to bed(although as I have pointed out many times they shouldn't be) and having their parents diapering them will make them feel even more self-conscious and embarrassed. Also bed-wetting makes many children feel helpless and by parents diapering the child it reinforces the feeling of helplessness. That is why children should be taught to be independent in this are as soon as possible.
As far as pin-on diapers are concerned some parents are afraid that the youngster might stick themselves with the pins. This is certainly a valid concern but if appropriate precautions are taken this shouldn't be an issue. I was talking to someone in customer service for a company that sells pin-on cloth diapers and plastic pants for older children and adults with bed-wetting problems to get her take on the situation and she told me that at the age of 7 or below the parents might need to fasten the diapers,above the age of 7 it would depend on the child's development. I believe the same steps taken with disposable diapers can also be taken with pin-on diapers. Again the parents should lay the diapers on the bed,have the child sit in them,and teach them the correct way to fasten the diapers. I can't emphasize this enough-children need to be taught at a young age how to be independent in this area. As I mentioned at the beginning of this article, my feeling is that beyond the age of 4, a child should be responsible for putting on their own diapers. Some children develop at a faster rate than others and some children might be savvy enough to put their own diapers on when they're 3. If the parents feel that the child might be capable of handling this task when they're this old the parents should let them. At this age they might need some supervision, but once the parents feel that the child has mastered this skill and can fasten the diapers correctly, the parents should let the child manage this task themselves. Like I said earlier children can be very sensitive about this issue and having a parent diapering them beyond the age that's appropriate will make the child feel like they're being babied by their parents. This in turn will make them feel embarrassed and self-conscious and will make them resistant to wear the diapers to bed.
Another idea I have as far as teaching youngster how to be self-sufficient in this area is the following. I don't know how feasible this idea is and I admit it's somewhat unusual but like the saying goes in many situations it's good to think outside the box. In many community colleges they use dummies to demonstrate certain medical techniques to nursing students. The parents could talk to the head of the nursing department at their local community college and see if they could borrow a dummy and then use the dummy to teach the child the correct way of fastening the diapers. If the head of the nursing department asks you why you want to borrow the dummy you can explain that you have a child who wears diapers for a bed-wetting problem and you want to use the dummy to teach them how to correctly fasten the diapers. If you are not able to borrow the dummy you can ask them if they have any suggestions about what to do in this situation. I suspect that purchasing something like this from a medical supply store would be expensive so the nurse at the community college might have ideas about alternative approaches to the situation. In addition you might want to call your local medical/hospital supply store and see if they have any ideas. about how to deal with this matter. As I mentioned earlier this is a very delicate situation that has the potential to do irreparable psychological harm to a child.
I wonder if some parents do this because on some level they might miss the closeness of the parent/infant relationship and this is a way to recreate this. Some parents either consciously or sub consciously want to keep their child at a certain level of development because the parents don't want to let go emotionally. It must be stressed that this is just speculation,and I'm not saying this is necessarily the case with all parents who put on their older child's diapers but the fact that this could be a factor with some people should be considered and if this the case it should be addressed with a mental health professional in order to prevent causing emotional harm to the child.
Unfortunately another reason some parents might diaper their older child that wets the bed is to humiliate them. Many parents try shaming their kids into stopping bed-wetting and this is one tactic that parents might use. I've read about one case where the parents diapered their child in front of the whole family in an attempt to get him to stop wetting the bed. There are many other things I've heard parents do to try to shame their children into stopping bed-wetting but out of sensitivity to my readers I won't mention them. Suffice it to say these practices are despicable and a form of child abuse. In terms of diapering older children that wet the bed it seems that the situations described above are atypical but even though this is the case,both my friend's experience and the situations I've read about on various incontinence forums concerned me and prompted me to write this article.
I hope people realize that this article is not meant as a criticism of anyone's parenting skills. It's meant to help people realize that children are very sensitive regarding these sorts of issues. Children need their privacy and independence in these areas and by not respecting this it makes them feel undignified. I hope this helps people look at this issue in a new light. As always I feel dialogue on these matters is very important and I welcome any constructive thoughts on this matter..
Years ago I had a friend who had to babysit a 6 year old. She was telling me that she had to diaper the child before he went to bed. Due to his age I assumed he was potty trained and that the reason he wore diapers was because of a bed-wetting problem. She told me that he went running through the house naked and screaming and refused to let her put the diapers on him,which I can't say as I blame him.
I do believe that an older child,adolescent,or teenager should wear diapers to bed if all attempts to cure it have failed and if other garments such as pull-ups and "Goodnites" don't offer adequate protection but I also feel that the youngster should be responsible for putting on their own protection unless they have some cognitive and/or physical disability that makes it either difficult for them to do so or prevents them from doing so. Diapering an older child has the potential to drastically effect a child's psychological health for years to come.
There are certain tasks that can be accomplished by youngsters who aren't cognitively or physically impaired including tying one's shoes,putting on one's clothes,etc. Diapering one's self in my opinion would fit into this category also.
At this point I'd like to talk about disposable diapers. If the parents are concerned that the child might not fasten the diapers correctly thereby causing the diapers to leak the parents can show the child how to fasten the diapers correctly. One way of doing this is to lay the diaper on the bed,have the child sit in the diaper,and tell them how to fold and fasten the diapers properly. I wouldn't think the child would have much difficulty doing this. However,if the child is having any problems with fastening the diaper,the parents can talk them through this. After the child is done putting the diapers on, the parent can have him or her stand up to see if the diaper is put on correctly and if not they can have the child make any adjustments that are necessary,such as refastening the tapes,putting on the diapers again if it looks like they don't fit correctly(which could cause leaks),etc. I would do this when the child is young because the older the child gets the more embarrassed the child will feel. This is a very sensitive area for children. Many bed-wetting children feel self-conscious and embarrassed about wearing diapers to bed(although as I have pointed out many times they shouldn't be) and having their parents diapering them will make them feel even more self-conscious and embarrassed. Also bed-wetting makes many children feel helpless and by parents diapering the child it reinforces the feeling of helplessness. That is why children should be taught to be independent in this are as soon as possible.
As far as pin-on diapers are concerned some parents are afraid that the youngster might stick themselves with the pins. This is certainly a valid concern but if appropriate precautions are taken this shouldn't be an issue. I was talking to someone in customer service for a company that sells pin-on cloth diapers and plastic pants for older children and adults with bed-wetting problems to get her take on the situation and she told me that at the age of 7 or below the parents might need to fasten the diapers,above the age of 7 it would depend on the child's development. I believe the same steps taken with disposable diapers can also be taken with pin-on diapers. Again the parents should lay the diapers on the bed,have the child sit in them,and teach them the correct way to fasten the diapers. I can't emphasize this enough-children need to be taught at a young age how to be independent in this area. As I mentioned at the beginning of this article, my feeling is that beyond the age of 4, a child should be responsible for putting on their own diapers. Some children develop at a faster rate than others and some children might be savvy enough to put their own diapers on when they're 3. If the parents feel that the child might be capable of handling this task when they're this old the parents should let them. At this age they might need some supervision, but once the parents feel that the child has mastered this skill and can fasten the diapers correctly, the parents should let the child manage this task themselves. Like I said earlier children can be very sensitive about this issue and having a parent diapering them beyond the age that's appropriate will make the child feel like they're being babied by their parents. This in turn will make them feel embarrassed and self-conscious and will make them resistant to wear the diapers to bed.
Another idea I have as far as teaching youngster how to be self-sufficient in this area is the following. I don't know how feasible this idea is and I admit it's somewhat unusual but like the saying goes in many situations it's good to think outside the box. In many community colleges they use dummies to demonstrate certain medical techniques to nursing students. The parents could talk to the head of the nursing department at their local community college and see if they could borrow a dummy and then use the dummy to teach the child the correct way of fastening the diapers. If the head of the nursing department asks you why you want to borrow the dummy you can explain that you have a child who wears diapers for a bed-wetting problem and you want to use the dummy to teach them how to correctly fasten the diapers. If you are not able to borrow the dummy you can ask them if they have any suggestions about what to do in this situation. I suspect that purchasing something like this from a medical supply store would be expensive so the nurse at the community college might have ideas about alternative approaches to the situation. In addition you might want to call your local medical/hospital supply store and see if they have any ideas. about how to deal with this matter. As I mentioned earlier this is a very delicate situation that has the potential to do irreparable psychological harm to a child.
I wonder if some parents do this because on some level they might miss the closeness of the parent/infant relationship and this is a way to recreate this. Some parents either consciously or sub consciously want to keep their child at a certain level of development because the parents don't want to let go emotionally. It must be stressed that this is just speculation,and I'm not saying this is necessarily the case with all parents who put on their older child's diapers but the fact that this could be a factor with some people should be considered and if this the case it should be addressed with a mental health professional in order to prevent causing emotional harm to the child.
Unfortunately another reason some parents might diaper their older child that wets the bed is to humiliate them. Many parents try shaming their kids into stopping bed-wetting and this is one tactic that parents might use. I've read about one case where the parents diapered their child in front of the whole family in an attempt to get him to stop wetting the bed. There are many other things I've heard parents do to try to shame their children into stopping bed-wetting but out of sensitivity to my readers I won't mention them. Suffice it to say these practices are despicable and a form of child abuse. In terms of diapering older children that wet the bed it seems that the situations described above are atypical but even though this is the case,both my friend's experience and the situations I've read about on various incontinence forums concerned me and prompted me to write this article.
I hope people realize that this article is not meant as a criticism of anyone's parenting skills. It's meant to help people realize that children are very sensitive regarding these sorts of issues. Children need their privacy and independence in these areas and by not respecting this it makes them feel undignified. I hope this helps people look at this issue in a new light. As always I feel dialogue on these matters is very important and I welcome any constructive thoughts on this matter..
Sunday, December 28, 2008
Ways Parents Can Encourage Older Children and Teenagers to Wear Diapers for Bedwetting part 1
After making the decision to have your child or teenager wear diapers to manage his or her bedwetting,and deciding what type and brand of diapers to have them wear to bed,the hard work for many parents has just begun. Although you might appreciate the benefits of wearing diapers at night the older child or teenager will very likely have different thoughts on the matter. However,with a little gentle persuasion and time,the youngster will eventually come to realize that the advantages of wearing nighttime diapers outweigh the disadvantages.This article discusses how to motivate an older child or teenager who is reluctant to wear diapers to bed to manage their bedwetting and is divided into 2 parts.
If the child, adolescent, or teenager is embarrassed about wearing the diapers and plastic pants to bed there are a number of different ways you can encourage them. First, you can stress how much more comfortable it will be waking up in a dry bed. Second,you can have them go to different chat rooms and online forums(with a younger child it's a good idea to supervise them while they are doing this) so they can talk to people in similar circumstances. There are many online forums and chat rooms dealing with bed-wetting and other incontinence issues. Sometimes it helps to have a sympathetic ear and to realize there are other people in the same boat.
Third, you should tell them that there are a large number of adults that wet the bed and many of them also wear night diapers. I would let the child know that many adult bed-wetters probably feel a bit self-conscious wearing diapers to bed also, but they understand that ultimately it's in their best interest to wear them. I've also read about cases where one or more parents have bed-wetting problems but their children don't. The parent might originally feel embarrassed about wearing diapers to bed(especially if their children are out of diapers) but many times the children are understanding and supportive of their parents. You can also mention that there are plenty of cases of adults who purchase diapers for other adults. An example of this is when a person buys diapers for their parent or parents that have medical problems that require them. For instance many people are caregivers for parents( or other relatives) that suffer from Alzheimer's disease. Incontinence is one of the symptoms of this disorder and the person has to purchase diapers for the individual who has Alzheimer's disease. Another example is if a married couple deals with bed-wetting. In this case the spouse of the bed-wetter encourages them to wear diapers to bed. Although they might feel embarrassed at the prospect of wearing diapers, they realize it's for their own good in addition to being considerate of the person sharing the bed with them. These are points that should be brought up to the older child,adolescent,or teenager that needs to wear overnight diapers but are reluctant to wear them.
A fourth strategy that you might want to consider is this. If your budget permits I would order a large or extra large, adult size pair of plastic pants and/or diapers. By showing the youngster an actual adult size pair of plastic pants or diapers in a a size that is larger than what they would normally wear, it might help them feel better about wearing diapers to bed. By actually seeing an adult size it reinforces the fact that adults wear them to bed also. This will help them more psychologically as opposed to just seeing something on a web site.
Fifth, you can explain to them that people have different needs in terms of managing their incontinence-that's why they have so many different styles of incontinence garments. There are different levels of incontinence-some wet more than others. You need to stress to the youngster that what works for one person might not be as effective for another. Also people can even experience the same types of incontinence differently. For example,some bed-wetters sleep on their sides and might experience problems with urine leakage in this area. With that in mind it would make sense to purchase a certain brand or style of diaper specifically designed to address this particular issue. Sixth, emphasize to the child or teen that they are only wearing the diapers at night. Unlike during the day it is much easier to conceal the use of diapers at night.
Another suggestion I have for helping an older child,adolescent,or teen adjust to the prospect of wearing nighttime diapers is to have the youngster see a mental health professional such as a child psychologist. Many psychologists have experience dealing with this issue and might be able to provide therapy specifically designed to help them deal with the emotional effects of the bed-wetting such as the feelings of shame they experience. If you have the financial means to try this option it would be worthwhile to consider this. You can talk to the mental health professional beforehand to see if they are able to offer counseling in this area. I talk about this in greater detail in my article "Bed-Wetting:When Cures Can Be Worse than the Disease."
Some people feel it's okay if an older child or teenager doesn't want to wear diapers to bed provided they take care of the wet sheets,clothing,and blankets. This brings me to another strategy for motivating an older child or teenager to sleep in diapers at night. I would tell them that it's much more time consuming washing bedding and clothing. By being aware of all the work involved in washing wet bedding and clothing it might make them more willing to wear diapers at night.
Another idea I have for helping parents encourage their older child or teenager to wear diapers for bed-wetting is to let them know that it's not healthy for their skin to sleep in urine soaked clothing and bedding. Urine can have detrimental effects on the skin. I talk about these effects in my article "Bed-Wetting and Maintaining Appropriate Hygiene. " I encourage both parents and children to read this article. I feel that this will help immensely in getting both children and teenagers to see the merits of wearing diapers for bed-wetting.
You may consider implementing a reward system designed to encourage the youngster to wear diapers at night. If your doctor agrees that diapers are the best solution, considering using a short-term rewards system to encourage the child to follow through. At the outset, let the child or teenager know that this is a temporary solution, just for use as they become accustomed to the diapers. Consider saying something like this: “We know you feel a little embarrassed about this and we get how you feel, but we thought of an idea to make this fun. We're going to implement a reward system. By fulfilling your part of the deal, you'll not only earn a reward, but at the same time you'll be helping yourself." Have the child or teenager pick three things they really like. For instance, they might like video games, books, and toys, in that order. If they wear the diapers to bed 20 – 24 nights in a row, they would get a toy; if they wear them for 25 – 29 nights in a row they would get a book; and if they wore them to bed the whole month they would get a video game. The purpose of setting up the reward system along these lines is to gradually ease them into or get them comfortable with wearing the diapers. Verbal encouragement is also an important part of the system. Offer praise, encouragement, and reassurance in the face of any setbacks. If the child is old enough, focus on the real end goal, rather than the temporary rewards: their long-term health, comfort, and hygiene. Say something like, "We're really proud of you for being understanding enough to wear them. We know it's no fun but just keep in mind that people of all ages wear diapers for bedwetting, and it's much more comfortable wearing them rather than waking up in yucky wet PJs and bedding, right?"
"
It's my contention that in order to motivate them to wear the diapers to bed for the long term it's important to have some small rewards they can earn along the way while waiting for the big reward at the end. In my opinion, after the 6 months is up they'll feel so accustomed to wearing them and so comfortable wearing them, that they will want to wear the diapers to bed of their own volition and not need rewards anymore. After that period of time they'll most likely realize how comfortable it is to wake up nice and dry. At this point many parents are probably asking the following question- "Suppose we try this reward system for 6 months and they're still resistant about wearing the diapers to bed?" This is a judgment call but in this situation the parents can say the following to the youngster: "So you still don't feel comfortable with the idea of wearing diapers at night.? We understand that it's difficult getting used to them but just remember what we told you-plenty of adults wear them also. There are millions of people all over the world of all age groups who have to wear diapers for various reasons. Some of them have to wear them during the day and night and some have to wear them only at night. There are also many types and levels of incontinence and some products are more effective at managing certain forms of incontinence. That's why there are so many different types and brands of diapers available. We appreciate you trying these out. How would you feel about wearing them to bed for a few more months? We thought it might be a good idea if you continue to wear them for another 3 to 6 months. An important thing to keep in mind is that even with adults it can take them a while to get used to wearing the diapers." There is no guarantee that this will work but it's worth a try.
A second thing the parents might be wondering about is the following-suppose the child gets used to the diapers but pretends they haven't to see if the parents might be willing to extend the reward system? While many people might say this is being somewhat cynical, the possibility of this occurring(at least with some children) should be considered. I'm not a parent but I do work with children in the school system so I know that kids can be manipulative. I think that in a situation such as this the parent has to make a judgment based on what they know about the personality and temperament of the child and their previous actions in different situations. In this case the parents intuition should serve as a fairly reliable guide. A third possibility is that the rewards might eventually become a crutch. The parents need to make it clear to the child upfront that the purpose of the reward system is to encourage them to wear the diapers to bed, to help them adjust to putting on the protection every night,and to get them to understand that even though they might be a little embarrassed about wearing diapers, it's more embarrassing sleeping in wet sheets and clothing(not to mention more uncomfortable). The child needs to accept the fact that this is not a permanent solution .After a suitable period of time the parents have to wean the child off the reward system and this can vary with different children.
In combination with using a reward system there are certain scripts(as the mental health professionals say) that an older child, adolescent, teen, or adult can say to themselves in order to feel more comfortable with the idea of wearing diapers and plastic pants to bed. For example he or she could say something like this to themselves: "This is just a garment designed to absorb urine and prevent it from getting myself and my bed wet. Wearing this is no reflection on my maturity. In fact by taking the appropriate precautions in dealing with the situation I am acting more mature. It doesn't matter what most people think. I am doing what's best for me in my particular situation and circumstances" or "I'm just wearing these at night-no one but myself and my family know I have them on. I'm asleep while I have them on so it's not like I'm going to notice them much anyway except when I put them on at night and take them off in the morning. It's like having a tooth pulled under anesthesia-I won't even notice it."
Another thing a person could say is the following: "Everyone's body develops at different rates-some people are potty trained later than others and some wet the bed later than others. My bladder has just not developed enough where I can stay dry at night unlike during the day. I wore diapers during both the day and night to protect me when I was a baby so why should it be any different now-I still have the problem of wetting. Just because I'm older doesn't mean I still don't need them. Besides, they make diapers and plastic pants in my size so there must be a need for them-I am not the only one who wears them for bed-wetting."
If the child is younger you can tell them to play a little game. You can tell them to imagine that the diapers and plastic pants are a like dam and the bed is like a city. The dam(in this case the diapers and plastic pants) keeps the city(in this case the bed) from being flooded. Or they can pretend they're a superhero and the diapers and plastic pants give them special powers-in this case the power to prevent their bed from getting wet. Finally they can look at the diapers and plastic pants in the same way as a raincoat.
Another tactic that a parent might want to try is to mention to the older child or teenager that many celebrities dealt with bed-wetting when they were younger. As mentioned in my article “Reasons for the Stigma Surrounding Diaper Use With Older Children,Adolescents,and Teenagers that Wet the Bed and Ways to Reduce this Stigma” there are many famous people who experienced this problem when they were younger. Among the famous individuals that suffered with this problem growing up were Johnny Carson,Suzanne Somers,Michael Landon,Mark McGwire,Vince Vaughn,and Sarah Silverman. In fact Sarah Silverman's recent book “The Bedwetter: Stories of Courage,Redemption,and Pee” recounts her experiences dealing with this problem when she was younger. Sarah dealt with this problem until she was 16.Sarah mentioned that she had to wear diapers to bed for a while. In one part of the book she talks about going on a camping trip when she was 12 and how her mother prepared Sarah for the trip by putting Pampers in the sleeping bag so she could be discreet about the issue.
Right now I'd like to talk about one other factor that should be considered about approaching your youngster about wearing diapers to bed. In some cases the child or teen might be closer to one parent and as a result they feel more comfortable discussing personal matters with them. In a situation such as this, both parents should get together with each other before talking to the child to make sure they're on the same page in terms of the best way to approach the youngster about wearing protection. When you've both mapped out the best strategy and the parent is ready to talk to the child, I would say something along these lines: "We realize you might feel embarrassed about your bed-wetting. We just want you to know that there's nothing to be ashamed of. People of all ages(including many adults) have this problem also. Both your father(or mother depending on who is talking to the child)and I came up with a plan to help you manage the problem. We both came up with a reward system designed to encourage and motivate you to try wearing diapers to bed for a while. I'd like to talk to you about it now." In my opinion it's a good idea to stress to the youngster that both of you decided that it would be best for the child or teen to wear diapers to bed so he or she doesn't think it's some arbitrary decision. I think in general it might make a youngster feel better if both parents are in agreement because it shows the youth that there was more thought put into the decision, which in turn will most likely make he or she feel more comfortable with the idea of wearing diapers to bed.
If the child, adolescent, or teenager is embarrassed about wearing the diapers and plastic pants to bed there are a number of different ways you can encourage them. First, you can stress how much more comfortable it will be waking up in a dry bed. Second,you can have them go to different chat rooms and online forums(with a younger child it's a good idea to supervise them while they are doing this) so they can talk to people in similar circumstances. There are many online forums and chat rooms dealing with bed-wetting and other incontinence issues. Sometimes it helps to have a sympathetic ear and to realize there are other people in the same boat.
Third, you should tell them that there are a large number of adults that wet the bed and many of them also wear night diapers. I would let the child know that many adult bed-wetters probably feel a bit self-conscious wearing diapers to bed also, but they understand that ultimately it's in their best interest to wear them. I've also read about cases where one or more parents have bed-wetting problems but their children don't. The parent might originally feel embarrassed about wearing diapers to bed(especially if their children are out of diapers) but many times the children are understanding and supportive of their parents. You can also mention that there are plenty of cases of adults who purchase diapers for other adults. An example of this is when a person buys diapers for their parent or parents that have medical problems that require them. For instance many people are caregivers for parents( or other relatives) that suffer from Alzheimer's disease. Incontinence is one of the symptoms of this disorder and the person has to purchase diapers for the individual who has Alzheimer's disease. Another example is if a married couple deals with bed-wetting. In this case the spouse of the bed-wetter encourages them to wear diapers to bed. Although they might feel embarrassed at the prospect of wearing diapers, they realize it's for their own good in addition to being considerate of the person sharing the bed with them. These are points that should be brought up to the older child,adolescent,or teenager that needs to wear overnight diapers but are reluctant to wear them.
A fourth strategy that you might want to consider is this. If your budget permits I would order a large or extra large, adult size pair of plastic pants and/or diapers. By showing the youngster an actual adult size pair of plastic pants or diapers in a a size that is larger than what they would normally wear, it might help them feel better about wearing diapers to bed. By actually seeing an adult size it reinforces the fact that adults wear them to bed also. This will help them more psychologically as opposed to just seeing something on a web site.
Fifth, you can explain to them that people have different needs in terms of managing their incontinence-that's why they have so many different styles of incontinence garments. There are different levels of incontinence-some wet more than others. You need to stress to the youngster that what works for one person might not be as effective for another. Also people can even experience the same types of incontinence differently. For example,some bed-wetters sleep on their sides and might experience problems with urine leakage in this area. With that in mind it would make sense to purchase a certain brand or style of diaper specifically designed to address this particular issue. Sixth, emphasize to the child or teen that they are only wearing the diapers at night. Unlike during the day it is much easier to conceal the use of diapers at night.
Another suggestion I have for helping an older child,adolescent,or teen adjust to the prospect of wearing nighttime diapers is to have the youngster see a mental health professional such as a child psychologist. Many psychologists have experience dealing with this issue and might be able to provide therapy specifically designed to help them deal with the emotional effects of the bed-wetting such as the feelings of shame they experience. If you have the financial means to try this option it would be worthwhile to consider this. You can talk to the mental health professional beforehand to see if they are able to offer counseling in this area. I talk about this in greater detail in my article "Bed-Wetting:When Cures Can Be Worse than the Disease."
Some people feel it's okay if an older child or teenager doesn't want to wear diapers to bed provided they take care of the wet sheets,clothing,and blankets. This brings me to another strategy for motivating an older child or teenager to sleep in diapers at night. I would tell them that it's much more time consuming washing bedding and clothing. By being aware of all the work involved in washing wet bedding and clothing it might make them more willing to wear diapers at night.
Another idea I have for helping parents encourage their older child or teenager to wear diapers for bed-wetting is to let them know that it's not healthy for their skin to sleep in urine soaked clothing and bedding. Urine can have detrimental effects on the skin. I talk about these effects in my article "Bed-Wetting and Maintaining Appropriate Hygiene. " I encourage both parents and children to read this article. I feel that this will help immensely in getting both children and teenagers to see the merits of wearing diapers for bed-wetting.
You may consider implementing a reward system designed to encourage the youngster to wear diapers at night. If your doctor agrees that diapers are the best solution, considering using a short-term rewards system to encourage the child to follow through. At the outset, let the child or teenager know that this is a temporary solution, just for use as they become accustomed to the diapers. Consider saying something like this: “We know you feel a little embarrassed about this and we get how you feel, but we thought of an idea to make this fun. We're going to implement a reward system. By fulfilling your part of the deal, you'll not only earn a reward, but at the same time you'll be helping yourself." Have the child or teenager pick three things they really like. For instance, they might like video games, books, and toys, in that order. If they wear the diapers to bed 20 – 24 nights in a row, they would get a toy; if they wear them for 25 – 29 nights in a row they would get a book; and if they wore them to bed the whole month they would get a video game. The purpose of setting up the reward system along these lines is to gradually ease them into or get them comfortable with wearing the diapers. Verbal encouragement is also an important part of the system. Offer praise, encouragement, and reassurance in the face of any setbacks. If the child is old enough, focus on the real end goal, rather than the temporary rewards: their long-term health, comfort, and hygiene. Say something like, "We're really proud of you for being understanding enough to wear them. We know it's no fun but just keep in mind that people of all ages wear diapers for bedwetting, and it's much more comfortable wearing them rather than waking up in yucky wet PJs and bedding, right?"
"
It's my contention that in order to motivate them to wear the diapers to bed for the long term it's important to have some small rewards they can earn along the way while waiting for the big reward at the end. In my opinion, after the 6 months is up they'll feel so accustomed to wearing them and so comfortable wearing them, that they will want to wear the diapers to bed of their own volition and not need rewards anymore. After that period of time they'll most likely realize how comfortable it is to wake up nice and dry. At this point many parents are probably asking the following question- "Suppose we try this reward system for 6 months and they're still resistant about wearing the diapers to bed?" This is a judgment call but in this situation the parents can say the following to the youngster: "So you still don't feel comfortable with the idea of wearing diapers at night.? We understand that it's difficult getting used to them but just remember what we told you-plenty of adults wear them also. There are millions of people all over the world of all age groups who have to wear diapers for various reasons. Some of them have to wear them during the day and night and some have to wear them only at night. There are also many types and levels of incontinence and some products are more effective at managing certain forms of incontinence. That's why there are so many different types and brands of diapers available. We appreciate you trying these out. How would you feel about wearing them to bed for a few more months? We thought it might be a good idea if you continue to wear them for another 3 to 6 months. An important thing to keep in mind is that even with adults it can take them a while to get used to wearing the diapers." There is no guarantee that this will work but it's worth a try.
A second thing the parents might be wondering about is the following-suppose the child gets used to the diapers but pretends they haven't to see if the parents might be willing to extend the reward system? While many people might say this is being somewhat cynical, the possibility of this occurring(at least with some children) should be considered. I'm not a parent but I do work with children in the school system so I know that kids can be manipulative. I think that in a situation such as this the parent has to make a judgment based on what they know about the personality and temperament of the child and their previous actions in different situations. In this case the parents intuition should serve as a fairly reliable guide. A third possibility is that the rewards might eventually become a crutch. The parents need to make it clear to the child upfront that the purpose of the reward system is to encourage them to wear the diapers to bed, to help them adjust to putting on the protection every night,and to get them to understand that even though they might be a little embarrassed about wearing diapers, it's more embarrassing sleeping in wet sheets and clothing(not to mention more uncomfortable). The child needs to accept the fact that this is not a permanent solution .After a suitable period of time the parents have to wean the child off the reward system and this can vary with different children.
In combination with using a reward system there are certain scripts(as the mental health professionals say) that an older child, adolescent, teen, or adult can say to themselves in order to feel more comfortable with the idea of wearing diapers and plastic pants to bed. For example he or she could say something like this to themselves: "This is just a garment designed to absorb urine and prevent it from getting myself and my bed wet. Wearing this is no reflection on my maturity. In fact by taking the appropriate precautions in dealing with the situation I am acting more mature. It doesn't matter what most people think. I am doing what's best for me in my particular situation and circumstances" or "I'm just wearing these at night-no one but myself and my family know I have them on. I'm asleep while I have them on so it's not like I'm going to notice them much anyway except when I put them on at night and take them off in the morning. It's like having a tooth pulled under anesthesia-I won't even notice it."
Another thing a person could say is the following: "Everyone's body develops at different rates-some people are potty trained later than others and some wet the bed later than others. My bladder has just not developed enough where I can stay dry at night unlike during the day. I wore diapers during both the day and night to protect me when I was a baby so why should it be any different now-I still have the problem of wetting. Just because I'm older doesn't mean I still don't need them. Besides, they make diapers and plastic pants in my size so there must be a need for them-I am not the only one who wears them for bed-wetting."
If the child is younger you can tell them to play a little game. You can tell them to imagine that the diapers and plastic pants are a like dam and the bed is like a city. The dam(in this case the diapers and plastic pants) keeps the city(in this case the bed) from being flooded. Or they can pretend they're a superhero and the diapers and plastic pants give them special powers-in this case the power to prevent their bed from getting wet. Finally they can look at the diapers and plastic pants in the same way as a raincoat.
Another tactic that a parent might want to try is to mention to the older child or teenager that many celebrities dealt with bed-wetting when they were younger. As mentioned in my article “Reasons for the Stigma Surrounding Diaper Use With Older Children,Adolescents,and Teenagers that Wet the Bed and Ways to Reduce this Stigma” there are many famous people who experienced this problem when they were younger. Among the famous individuals that suffered with this problem growing up were Johnny Carson,Suzanne Somers,Michael Landon,Mark McGwire,Vince Vaughn,and Sarah Silverman. In fact Sarah Silverman's recent book “The Bedwetter: Stories of Courage,Redemption,and Pee” recounts her experiences dealing with this problem when she was younger. Sarah dealt with this problem until she was 16.Sarah mentioned that she had to wear diapers to bed for a while. In one part of the book she talks about going on a camping trip when she was 12 and how her mother prepared Sarah for the trip by putting Pampers in the sleeping bag so she could be discreet about the issue.
Right now I'd like to talk about one other factor that should be considered about approaching your youngster about wearing diapers to bed. In some cases the child or teen might be closer to one parent and as a result they feel more comfortable discussing personal matters with them. In a situation such as this, both parents should get together with each other before talking to the child to make sure they're on the same page in terms of the best way to approach the youngster about wearing protection. When you've both mapped out the best strategy and the parent is ready to talk to the child, I would say something along these lines: "We realize you might feel embarrassed about your bed-wetting. We just want you to know that there's nothing to be ashamed of. People of all ages(including many adults) have this problem also. Both your father(or mother depending on who is talking to the child)and I came up with a plan to help you manage the problem. We both came up with a reward system designed to encourage and motivate you to try wearing diapers to bed for a while. I'd like to talk to you about it now." In my opinion it's a good idea to stress to the youngster that both of you decided that it would be best for the child or teen to wear diapers to bed so he or she doesn't think it's some arbitrary decision. I think in general it might make a youngster feel better if both parents are in agreement because it shows the youth that there was more thought put into the decision, which in turn will most likely make he or she feel more comfortable with the idea of wearing diapers to bed.
Should Parents Involve Older Siblings in Taking Care of the Bed-Wetter's Diapers and Plastic Pants?
Many parents have their older children be responsible for helping their younger siblings in various aspects of their lives and they might want to involve their older children in taking care of the bed-wetter's wet garments. This is a delicate issue because it has the potential to embarrass the bed wetter. Each situation is different. As mentioned previously if a parent uses diapers and plastic pants to deal with the youngster's bed-wetting it's inevitable that the other children of the house are going to discover this. They're going to notice plastic pants hanging to dry on the clothesline,see their mother washing wet diapers and plastic pants,and folding up the diapers and pants after they're laundered. With that in mind it might be a good idea to talk to the older child and ask them if they would be comfortable helping out with these chores.
I think it's good for the older child because it helps them be more supportive about these kinds of problems. Hopefully it will also make them more sympathetic about bed-wetting and the use of diapers to manage it. They in turn can carry these attitudes with them in later years. For example if they decide to have children themselves and if their children wet the bed,their experience helping their younger sibling deal with it will help them handle their own child's bed-wetting in a gracious,gentle manner. That being said if the parents feel that the older child won't have the maturity to deal with the situation in a tactful way or if the bed wetter will feel embarrassed about their siblings taking care of the diapers and plastic pants then the parents should not let them help with this particular chore.
The first step is to talk to the youngster and tell them that you're considering involving their brother or sister in taking care of the diapers and plastic pants. How they feel about this is depends to a large extent on how close they are to their siblings. Another thing that needs to be considered is the following. Girls might be more receptive to doing this type of chore due to the fact that they tend to be more mature than boys and because of their innate maternal instinct. If you have a son that wets the bed and he has both boy and girl siblings he might feel more comfortable with his sister or sisters handling this. On the other hand it could go the other way. The same thing applies if you have a girl bed-wetter. Girls tend to be sensitive regarding this and there's always the possibility that they could feel self-conscious about a boy taking care of their laundry(whether regular laundry or diapers and plastic pants) In a situation such as this the parent has to ask them who they would prefer to deal with this. Once this is known, the parents can then make a decision based on what they know about the character and maturity level of the sibling or siblings in addition to how responsible they are. At this point the parents can talk to the sibling or siblings and tell them what their particular task will be-one sister will be responsible for washing the diapers and plastic pants,one will be responsible for folding them up and putting them in the laundry basket,etc A second option would be to have the siblings alternate-one weekend one sister will take care of the wet garments,the next weekend the other sister will,etc. As parents know there are many different ways to assign responsibilities and this situation is no exception. If the bed-wetter has only one sibling this obviously changes the equation somewhat but the same reasoning applies-the parent has to get the bed-wetter's opinion about this and then make a judgment call about whether to involve them.
Bedwetting can be very stressful for a child particularly if the bed-wetter has siblings. As we all know brothers and sisters can be very cruel particularly where this is concerned.. Whatever decision you make in this matter the most important thing to impress upon them is this-any teasing about the bed-wetting and diapers and plastic pants will not be tolerated. It's important for the bed-wetter to have a nurturing and supportive environment. This more than anything else will help them through this difficult time.
I think it's good for the older child because it helps them be more supportive about these kinds of problems. Hopefully it will also make them more sympathetic about bed-wetting and the use of diapers to manage it. They in turn can carry these attitudes with them in later years. For example if they decide to have children themselves and if their children wet the bed,their experience helping their younger sibling deal with it will help them handle their own child's bed-wetting in a gracious,gentle manner. That being said if the parents feel that the older child won't have the maturity to deal with the situation in a tactful way or if the bed wetter will feel embarrassed about their siblings taking care of the diapers and plastic pants then the parents should not let them help with this particular chore.
The first step is to talk to the youngster and tell them that you're considering involving their brother or sister in taking care of the diapers and plastic pants. How they feel about this is depends to a large extent on how close they are to their siblings. Another thing that needs to be considered is the following. Girls might be more receptive to doing this type of chore due to the fact that they tend to be more mature than boys and because of their innate maternal instinct. If you have a son that wets the bed and he has both boy and girl siblings he might feel more comfortable with his sister or sisters handling this. On the other hand it could go the other way. The same thing applies if you have a girl bed-wetter. Girls tend to be sensitive regarding this and there's always the possibility that they could feel self-conscious about a boy taking care of their laundry(whether regular laundry or diapers and plastic pants) In a situation such as this the parent has to ask them who they would prefer to deal with this. Once this is known, the parents can then make a decision based on what they know about the character and maturity level of the sibling or siblings in addition to how responsible they are. At this point the parents can talk to the sibling or siblings and tell them what their particular task will be-one sister will be responsible for washing the diapers and plastic pants,one will be responsible for folding them up and putting them in the laundry basket,etc A second option would be to have the siblings alternate-one weekend one sister will take care of the wet garments,the next weekend the other sister will,etc. As parents know there are many different ways to assign responsibilities and this situation is no exception. If the bed-wetter has only one sibling this obviously changes the equation somewhat but the same reasoning applies-the parent has to get the bed-wetter's opinion about this and then make a judgment call about whether to involve them.
Bedwetting can be very stressful for a child particularly if the bed-wetter has siblings. As we all know brothers and sisters can be very cruel particularly where this is concerned.. Whatever decision you make in this matter the most important thing to impress upon them is this-any teasing about the bed-wetting and diapers and plastic pants will not be tolerated. It's important for the bed-wetter to have a nurturing and supportive environment. This more than anything else will help them through this difficult time.
Will Wearing Diapers for Bedwetting Decrease the Motivation to Achieve Dryness?
A number of people claim that if you use diapers for bed-wetting there's no incentive to become dry-that the child,adolescent,or teenager become so accustomed to using the diapers they'll eventually become a crutch or security blanket. The reasoning behind this is that people will become complacent about seeking a cure for their bed-wetting. While I suppose this is a possibility for a small number of individuals(although I believe it is highly unlikely) I can think of a number of reasons why this probably wouldn't be the case. This article addresses this concern. First of all I believe that the premise behind this thinking is flawed. It assumes that the reason the youngster or adult wets the bed is purely psychological. The cause of the bed-wetting could be physical in which case no amount of motivation will get them to achieve night control. The bed-wetter might be motivated to experiment with different treatments so from that standpoint they're "motivated" but this is a completely different issue than what is normally meant by most people who talk about bed-wetting and the concept of motivation. To say that a person who wears diapers for bed-wetting will be less likely to have the motivation to cure their bed-wetting is like saying that a diabetic who has to use insulin for their diabetes or a person who uses an inhaler to manage their asthma won't be motivated to seek cures for their diseases. In fact in could be argued that the people who wear diapers for their bed-wetting have more of an incentive to cure their enuresis than those who don't because of the stigma associated with diapers.
Right now I'd like to talk about the reasons why I feel that diapers won't have any effect on a person's desire and motivation to achieve nighttime control. In the first place wearing diapers to bed does not preclude the person from trying to find out information about new treatments that might become available for the bed-wetting. Second, most children and teens want to fit in and be like everybody else and they realize most people their age are out of diapers.
Third,although the diapers might make the bed wetter feel more secure and comfortable it is still a hassle using diapers. Shelling out money for disposable diapers can be expensive; washing diapers and plastic pants is time consuming;it can be inconvenient traveling with diapers because plastic pants,diapers,plastic sheets,and the skincare products required take up more room in the suitcase; and since many people are reluctant to divulge the fact that they have to wear overnight diapers to friends they have to decline things such as sleepovers,going camping,etc. Adolescents,teenagers,and adults are especially vulnerable in this area. Most of them are reluctant to get involved in a relationship because they are afraid to tell the opposite sex they have to sleep in diapers every night.
Also if you're an adult bed wetter who has to travel frequently for business it's difficult to be discreet about your diaper use. There is always the risk your colleagues will find out. In fact I read about a case where that happened. Fortunately her colleague had the same problem and was real understanding but most people aren't that lucky. These are just some of the reasons why most people are more than willing to give up their diapers if a cure is eventually found for their bed-wetting.
On a related note I would like to touch on the following point. As mentioned in my article " Bed-Wetting:When Cures Are Worse Than the Disease", with some individuals the cures and treatments available for the bed-wetting might cause more harm than good. In cases like this if it's shown that there's no serious underlying medical problem causing the bed-wetting that needs to be treated,if it's determined that the youngster will eventually outgrow the bed-wetting,and if the bed-wetting is not causing the child or teen distress then it's advisable to wait for the individual to outgrow it and make him or her feel as comfortable as possible in the meantime. Sometimes we just need to follow the child's natural growth process without interference. And while this might not be advisable in all circumstances,with some individuals and in some cases this is the most prudent course of action to follow.
Some people might criticize this tack because they feel it causes the child or teen unnecessary suffering .As with everything else in life we must take each situation on an individual basis. As I have repeatedly stressed throughout many of my writings there are instances in which people have tried many different methods to cure their bed-wetting without success. That's not to say they should give up-medical science is continually coming up with new treatments for various illnesses on virtually a daily basis. I'm just suggesting that due to the stigma surrounding nocturnal enuresis(and other forms of incontinence) people feel compelled to cure it and many times that pressure can have a negative effect . It makes them feel they have to turn their life upside down to cure it.
With some individuals it can be more stressful going to countless doctors,having endless tests and procedures done, and trying many different treatments without success-imagine what it would be like to continually get your hopes up only to have them dashed? That's when the person has to consider the quality of life issue I discussed earlier. If the youngster is more distressed about being shuttled around to different specialists and trying multiple cures without success and if they'll will eventually outgrow the bed-wetting, then it might be prudent to not put any more pressure on them and just follow their natural growth process.
I would tell the child something along these lines: "We'll do everything we can to support you with this problem. With some people it's difficult finding a cure for their bed-wetting but that's okay. Also with some people it takes a little while longer for them to be able to stay dry at night. You shouldn't feel pressured to become dry at night-everyone's body is different. We know you're frustrated about going to countless doctors and trying different cures without success and that's okay also. We'll see how things go and if we find out about anything new that can help resolve the bed-wetting we'll all sit down together and discuss it. I think it's important for you to not feel discouraged about this. In the meantime we think it would make you feel more comfortable to wear diapers to bed."
To me wearing diapers for bed-wetting should be viewed as more of an inconvenience as I suggested in another article not as something a person should be ashamed of. I wear glasses to manage my eyesight and while I might prefer not to wear them(like most people probably do) I certainly don't feel ashamed about wearing them. If the inconvenience of using diapers is something the person can tolerate and if they enable the user to feel more secure and have a better night's sleep then they should use them.
Right now I'd like to talk about the reasons why I feel that diapers won't have any effect on a person's desire and motivation to achieve nighttime control. In the first place wearing diapers to bed does not preclude the person from trying to find out information about new treatments that might become available for the bed-wetting. Second, most children and teens want to fit in and be like everybody else and they realize most people their age are out of diapers.
Third,although the diapers might make the bed wetter feel more secure and comfortable it is still a hassle using diapers. Shelling out money for disposable diapers can be expensive; washing diapers and plastic pants is time consuming;it can be inconvenient traveling with diapers because plastic pants,diapers,plastic sheets,and the skincare products required take up more room in the suitcase; and since many people are reluctant to divulge the fact that they have to wear overnight diapers to friends they have to decline things such as sleepovers,going camping,etc. Adolescents,teenagers,and adults are especially vulnerable in this area. Most of them are reluctant to get involved in a relationship because they are afraid to tell the opposite sex they have to sleep in diapers every night.
Also if you're an adult bed wetter who has to travel frequently for business it's difficult to be discreet about your diaper use. There is always the risk your colleagues will find out. In fact I read about a case where that happened. Fortunately her colleague had the same problem and was real understanding but most people aren't that lucky. These are just some of the reasons why most people are more than willing to give up their diapers if a cure is eventually found for their bed-wetting.
On a related note I would like to touch on the following point. As mentioned in my article " Bed-Wetting:When Cures Are Worse Than the Disease", with some individuals the cures and treatments available for the bed-wetting might cause more harm than good. In cases like this if it's shown that there's no serious underlying medical problem causing the bed-wetting that needs to be treated,if it's determined that the youngster will eventually outgrow the bed-wetting,and if the bed-wetting is not causing the child or teen distress then it's advisable to wait for the individual to outgrow it and make him or her feel as comfortable as possible in the meantime. Sometimes we just need to follow the child's natural growth process without interference. And while this might not be advisable in all circumstances,with some individuals and in some cases this is the most prudent course of action to follow.
Some people might criticize this tack because they feel it causes the child or teen unnecessary suffering .As with everything else in life we must take each situation on an individual basis. As I have repeatedly stressed throughout many of my writings there are instances in which people have tried many different methods to cure their bed-wetting without success. That's not to say they should give up-medical science is continually coming up with new treatments for various illnesses on virtually a daily basis. I'm just suggesting that due to the stigma surrounding nocturnal enuresis(and other forms of incontinence) people feel compelled to cure it and many times that pressure can have a negative effect . It makes them feel they have to turn their life upside down to cure it.
With some individuals it can be more stressful going to countless doctors,having endless tests and procedures done, and trying many different treatments without success-imagine what it would be like to continually get your hopes up only to have them dashed? That's when the person has to consider the quality of life issue I discussed earlier. If the youngster is more distressed about being shuttled around to different specialists and trying multiple cures without success and if they'll will eventually outgrow the bed-wetting, then it might be prudent to not put any more pressure on them and just follow their natural growth process.
I would tell the child something along these lines: "We'll do everything we can to support you with this problem. With some people it's difficult finding a cure for their bed-wetting but that's okay. Also with some people it takes a little while longer for them to be able to stay dry at night. You shouldn't feel pressured to become dry at night-everyone's body is different. We know you're frustrated about going to countless doctors and trying different cures without success and that's okay also. We'll see how things go and if we find out about anything new that can help resolve the bed-wetting we'll all sit down together and discuss it. I think it's important for you to not feel discouraged about this. In the meantime we think it would make you feel more comfortable to wear diapers to bed."
To me wearing diapers for bed-wetting should be viewed as more of an inconvenience as I suggested in another article not as something a person should be ashamed of. I wear glasses to manage my eyesight and while I might prefer not to wear them(like most people probably do) I certainly don't feel ashamed about wearing them. If the inconvenience of using diapers is something the person can tolerate and if they enable the user to feel more secure and have a better night's sleep then they should use them.
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