Ways Parents Can Encourage Older Children and Teenagers to Wear Diapers for Bedwetting part 1

After making the decision to have your child or teenager wear diapers to manage his or her bedwetting,and deciding what type and brand of diapers to have them wear to bed,the hard work for many parents has just begun. Although you might appreciate the benefits of wearing diapers at night the older child or teenager will very likely have different thoughts on the matter. However,with a little gentle persuasion and time,the youngster will eventually come to realize that the advantages of wearing nighttime diapers outweigh the disadvantages.This article discusses how to motivate an older child or teenager who is reluctant to wear diapers to bed to manage their bedwetting and is divided into 2 parts.


If the child, adolescent, or teenager is embarrassed about wearing the diapers and plastic pants to bed there are a number of different ways you can encourage them. First, you can stress how much more comfortable it will be waking up in a dry bed. Second,you can have them go to different chat rooms and online forums(with a younger child it's a good idea to supervise them while they are doing this) so they can talk to people in similar circumstances. There are many online forums and chat rooms dealing with bed-wetting and other incontinence issues. Sometimes it helps to have a sympathetic ear and to realize there are other people in the same boat.

Third, you should tell them that there are a large number of adults that wet the bed and many of them also wear night diapers. I would let the child know that many adult bed-wetters probably feel a bit self-conscious wearing diapers to bed also, but they understand that ultimately it's in their best interest to wear them. I've also read about cases where one or more parents have bed-wetting problems but their children don't. The parent might originally feel embarrassed about wearing diapers to bed(especially if their children are out of diapers) but many times the children are understanding and supportive of their parents. You can also mention that there are plenty of cases of adults who purchase diapers for other adults. An example of this is when a person buys diapers for their parent or parents that have medical problems that require them. For instance many people are caregivers for parents( or other relatives) that suffer from Alzheimer's disease. Incontinence is one of the symptoms of this disorder and the person has to purchase diapers for the individual who has Alzheimer's disease. Another example is if a married couple deals with bed-wetting. In this case the spouse of the bed-wetter encourages them to wear diapers to bed. Although they might feel embarrassed at the prospect of wearing diapers, they realize it's for their own good in addition to being considerate of the person sharing the bed with them. These are points that should be brought up to the older child,adolescent,or teenager that needs to wear overnight diapers but are reluctant to wear them.

A fourth strategy that you might want to consider is this. If your budget permits I would order a large or extra large, adult size pair of plastic pants and/or diapers. By showing the youngster an actual adult size pair of plastic pants or diapers in a a size that is larger than what they would normally wear, it might help them feel better about wearing diapers to bed. By actually seeing an adult size it reinforces the fact that adults wear them to bed also. This will help them more psychologically as opposed to just seeing something on a web site.

Fifth, you can explain to them that people have different needs in terms of managing their incontinence-that's why they have so many different styles of incontinence garments. There are different levels of incontinence-some wet more than others. You need to stress to the youngster that what works for one person might not be as effective for another. Also people can even experience the same types of incontinence differently. For example,some bed-wetters sleep on their sides and might experience problems with urine leakage in this area. With that in mind it would make sense to purchase a certain brand or style of diaper specifically designed to address this particular issue. Sixth, emphasize to the child or teen that they are only wearing the diapers at night. Unlike during the day it is much easier to conceal the use of diapers at night.

Another suggestion I have for helping an older child,adolescent,or teen adjust to the prospect of wearing nighttime diapers is to have the youngster see a mental health professional such as a child psychologist. Many psychologists have experience dealing with this issue and might be able to provide therapy specifically designed to help them deal with the emotional effects of the bed-wetting such as the feelings of shame they experience. If you have the financial means to try this option it would be worthwhile to consider this. You can talk to the mental health professional beforehand to see if they are able to offer counseling in this area. I talk about this in greater detail in my article "Bed-Wetting:When Cures Can Be Worse than the Disease."

Some people feel it's okay if an older child or teenager doesn't want to wear diapers to bed provided they take care of the wet sheets,clothing,and blankets. This brings me to another strategy for motivating an older child or teenager to sleep in diapers at night. I would tell them that it's much more time consuming washing bedding and clothing. By being aware of all the work involved in washing wet bedding and clothing it might make them more willing to wear diapers at night.

Another idea I have for helping parents encourage their older child or teenager to wear diapers for bed-wetting is to let them know that it's not healthy for their skin to sleep in urine soaked clothing and bedding. Urine can have detrimental effects on the skin. I talk about these effects in my article "Bed-Wetting and Maintaining Appropriate Hygiene. " I encourage both parents and children to read this article. I feel that this will help immensely in getting both children and teenagers to see the merits of wearing diapers for bed-wetting.

You may consider implementing a reward system designed to encourage the youngster to wear diapers at night. If your doctor agrees that diapers are the best solution, considering using a short-term rewards system to encourage the child to follow through. At the outset, let the child or teenager know that this is a temporary solution, just for use as they become accustomed to the diapers. Consider saying something like this: “We know you feel a little embarrassed about this and we get how you feel, but we thought of an idea to make this fun. We're going to implement a reward system. By fulfilling your part of the deal, you'll not only earn a reward, but at the same time you'll be helping yourself." Have the child or teenager pick three things they really like. For instance, they might like video games, books, and toys, in that order. If they wear the diapers to bed 20 – 24 nights in a row, they would get a toy; if they wear them for 25 – 29 nights in a row they would get a book; and if they wore them to bed the whole month they would get a video game. The purpose of setting up the reward system along these lines is to gradually ease them into or get them comfortable with wearing the diapers. Verbal encouragement is also an important part of the system. Offer praise, encouragement, and reassurance in the face of any setbacks. If the child is old enough, focus on the real end goal, rather than the temporary rewards: their long-term health, comfort, and hygiene. Say something like, "We're really proud of you for being understanding enough to wear them. We know it's no fun but just keep in mind that people of all ages wear diapers for bedwetting, and it's much more comfortable wearing them rather than waking up in yucky wet PJs and bedding, right?"

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It's my contention that in order to motivate them to wear the diapers to bed for the long term it's important to have some small rewards they can earn along the way while waiting for the big reward at the end. In my opinion, after the 6 months is up they'll feel so accustomed to wearing them and so comfortable wearing them, that they will want to wear the diapers to bed of their own volition and not need rewards anymore. After that period of time they'll most likely realize how comfortable it is to wake up nice and dry. At this point many parents are probably asking the following question- "Suppose we try this reward system for 6 months and they're still resistant about wearing the diapers to bed?" This is a judgment call but in this situation the parents can say the following to the youngster: "So you still don't feel comfortable with the idea of wearing diapers at night.? We understand that it's difficult getting used to them but just remember what we told you-plenty of adults wear them also. There are millions of people all over the world of all age groups who have to wear diapers for various reasons. Some of them have to wear them during the day and night and some have to wear them only at night. There are also many types and levels of incontinence and some products are more effective at managing certain forms of incontinence. That's why there are so many different types and brands of diapers available. We appreciate you trying these out. How would you feel about wearing them to bed for a few more months? We thought it might be a good idea if you continue to wear them for another 3 to 6 months. An important thing to keep in mind is that even with adults it can take them a while to get used to wearing the diapers." There is no guarantee that this will work but it's worth a try.

A second thing the parents might be wondering about is the following-suppose the child gets used to the diapers but pretends they haven't to see if the parents might be willing to extend the reward system? While many people might say this is being somewhat cynical, the possibility of this occurring(at least with some children) should be considered. I'm not a parent but I do work with children in the school system so I know that kids can be manipulative. I think that in a situation such as this the parent has to make a judgment based on what they know about the personality and temperament of the child and their previous actions in different situations. In this case the parents intuition should serve as a fairly reliable guide. A third possibility is that the rewards might eventually become a crutch. The parents need to make it clear to the child upfront that the purpose of the reward system is to encourage them to wear the diapers to bed, to help them adjust to putting on the protection every night,and to get them to understand that even though they might be a little embarrassed about wearing diapers, it's more embarrassing sleeping in wet sheets and clothing(not to mention more uncomfortable). The child needs to accept the fact that this is not a permanent solution .After a suitable period of time the parents have to wean the child off the reward system and this can vary with different children.

In combination with using a reward system there are certain scripts(as the mental health professionals say) that an older child, adolescent, teen, or adult can say to themselves in order to feel more comfortable with the idea of wearing diapers and plastic pants to bed. For example he or she could say something like this to themselves: "This is just a garment designed to absorb urine and prevent it from getting myself and my bed wet. Wearing this is no reflection on my maturity. In fact by taking the appropriate precautions in dealing with the situation I am acting more mature. It doesn't matter what most people think. I am doing what's best for me in my particular situation and circumstances" or "I'm just wearing these at night-no one but myself and my family know I have them on. I'm asleep while I have them on so it's not like I'm going to notice them much anyway except when I put them on at night and take them off in the morning. It's like having a tooth pulled under anesthesia-I won't even notice it."

Another thing a person could say is the following: "Everyone's body develops at different rates-some people are potty trained later than others and some wet the bed later than others. My bladder has just not developed enough where I can stay dry at night unlike during the day. I wore diapers during both the day and night to protect me when I was a baby so why should it be any different now-I still have the problem of wetting. Just because I'm older doesn't mean I still don't need them. Besides, they make diapers and plastic pants in my size so there must be a need for them-I am not the only one who wears them for bed-wetting."

If the child is younger you can tell them to play a little game. You can tell them to imagine that the diapers and plastic pants are a like dam and the bed is like a city. The dam(in this case the diapers and plastic pants) keeps the city(in this case the bed) from being flooded. Or they can pretend they're a superhero and the diapers and plastic pants give them special powers-in this case the power to prevent their bed from getting wet. Finally they can look at the diapers and plastic pants in the same way as a raincoat.

Another tactic that a parent might want to try is to mention to the older child or teenager that many celebrities dealt with bed-wetting when they were younger. As mentioned in my article “Reasons for the Stigma Surrounding Diaper Use With Older Children,Adolescents,and Teenagers that Wet the Bed and Ways to Reduce this Stigma” there are many famous people who experienced this problem when they were younger. Among the famous individuals that suffered with this problem growing up were Johnny Carson,Suzanne Somers,Michael Landon,Mark McGwire,Vince Vaughn,and Sarah Silverman. In fact Sarah Silverman's recent book “The Bedwetter: Stories of Courage,Redemption,and Pee” recounts her experiences dealing with this problem when she was younger. Sarah dealt with this problem until she was 16.Sarah mentioned that she had to wear diapers to bed for a while. In one part of the book she talks about going on a camping trip when she was 12 and how her mother prepared Sarah for the trip by putting Pampers in the sleeping bag so she could be discreet about the issue.

Right now I'd like to talk about one other factor that should be considered about approaching your youngster about wearing diapers to bed. In some cases the child or teen might be closer to one parent and as a result they feel more comfortable discussing personal matters with them. In a situation such as this, both parents should get together with each other before talking to the child to make sure they're on the same page in terms of the best way to approach the youngster about wearing protection. When you've both mapped out the best strategy and the parent is ready to talk to the child, I would say something along these lines: "We realize you might feel embarrassed about your bed-wetting. We just want you to know that there's nothing to be ashamed of. People of all ages(including many adults) have this problem also. Both your father(or mother depending on who is talking to the child)and I came up with a plan to help you manage the problem. We both came up with a reward system designed to encourage and motivate you to try wearing diapers to bed for a while. I'd like to talk to you about it now." In my opinion it's a good idea to stress to the youngster that both of you decided that it would be best for the child or teen to wear diapers to bed so he or she doesn't think it's some arbitrary decision. I think in general it might make a youngster feel better if both parents are in agreement because it shows the youth that there was more thought put into the decision, which in turn will most likely make he or she feel more comfortable with the idea of wearing diapers to bed.